Cyndi Lauper: Why quality of life can bring equality

How to ensure equality for everyone when we're all so diverse and different? A question for our guest contributor Cyndi Lauper, the singer and co-founder of True Colors, an advocacy group for homeless LGBT youth:

For me equality has always been plain and simple. "You either are or you aren't, Blanche," to kind of quote one of my favorite Bette Davis lines.

I had the opportunity to be on the same planet with a lot of inspiring people who actually did change my life, and the lives of the people I love, through their work for equality.

There were many great civil rights leaders, like Dr. Martin Luther King, Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Harvey Milk. I could go on.  And Maya Angelou -- where would I be without her books?

So today, I was talking to my husband about equality, and he said, "Why don't you just drop the E and emphasize the word quality? Maybe by just concentrating on making the quality of life better for people around you, you might naturally end up with greater equality."

So that got me thinking how right he is -- that he's really just talking about the old Sunday school lesson they beat into you at Catholic school: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Or better still, if you want people to listen, you've got to listen to them.

And let's not forget my favorite: What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

So, I think today I will emphasize the word "quality" rather than discuss the word "equality," because maybe less talk and more quality caring might lead us to do more action.

And everyone knows action speaks louder than words, right? Be it in sports, or in family, hey, even in romance. Like I had to tell my first boyfriend, "You gonna stand around all night, or you gonna do something? 'Cause I got things to do."

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Tips to making yourself look good in a selfie

The selfie stick was possibly the most hated gadget — and with good reason. That slimming photo angle often comes with a price of irritating the people around you whom you've forgotten existed in your Instagram-focused world. Despite growing annoyance, the selfie is likely here to stay, but there are alternatives to the giant "narcissus-stick."

1. Bring a travel tripod. Something lightweight (carbon-fiber is lighter than aluminum alloy) that can fold down to be compact and can handle the weight of your camera is good. Also look into stability — which is essentially why you're buying a tripod in the first place. I personally love my JOBY Gorillapod SLR-Zoom, with bendable legs and the ability to keep even my heavy DSLR sturdy. I pair this with the following item for the perfect hands-free selfie.

2. Use an intervalometer. Despite the sci-fi name, this is just a remote you can set to take a certain amount of photos with a certain amount of seconds between each shot. Choose the intervals, plug the gadget into your camera and it does the rest, even focusing the lens for you. It's better than the built-in camera timer as you never need to press the camera shutter or reset the settings for each shoot.

3. Selfie-focused apps. Don't think your mug is pretty enough for a selfie? There's an app for that. Check out FaceTune, a portrait-editing app that smooths skin, whitens teeth, removes imperfections, highlights your best features and changes lighting, among other options. Another great download is Retrica, showcasing over 100 photo filters and allowing you to adjust your selfie's exposure. Tip: If you're not 100% happy with your selfie, a black and white filter will hide imperfections.

4. A wide-angle lens. While not mandatory, wide-angle lenses capture more of the background scenery to transform the typically egotistical selfie into an actual story of where you are. Because you're in the foreground you'll still be the focus, but the photo is less dominated by your face. I’ve found my GoPro is great for this (it's much lighter than a DSLR), though clip-on smartphone lenses like the SelfieMaster Easy Selfie Lens, Aerb and olloclip are also worth checking out.

5. Cannon's PowerShot G7X. Not only does this lightweight camera perform well in low light, offer image stabilization and feature a quick 4.2x f/1.8-2.8 optical zoom lens, but the screen flips to face you so you can see exactly what you're taking a photo of. It's sort of like using the front face of your smartphone camera, but with a much higher-quality image.

Does using any of the above make selfies any less annoying? Maybe not. But at least you won't impale anyone with a giant stick.

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Safety is a Lifestyle

Many people ask how I've made it this far in my career in such a short time. It's not because I know everything; no one does. It's because I treat people with the respect for which they are due. I have had the honor in working in some of the biggest projects and with some of the best companies in this country.

As a safety professional, my job is not to tell employees how to do their job.  I also am not a safety cop.

Early in my career, Randy Williamson with Whiting-Turner told me , “you can catch more bees with honey." From that moment forward, when I walk through a job site, I keep that in mind – no matter what the safety infraction or the issue at hand.

I have been able to talk to any employee in any situation and have been able to handle the situation in my favor. From my standpoint, I have been able to see were other safety professionals fail to get their points across to their workers.

One question I always get asked is “how did you become a safety guy?" The answer is not the training, education, the certificates or the credentials. It's all about how you respond and treat people.

Two safety managers can have the same scenario and achieve two completely different outcomes all based on how they carry themselves. I am not better than anyone. I don't know all the answers, but what I do know is that everyone is at that job site to provide, whether for themselves or for their family.

You never can know what is going on in someone's head or what personal issues they might be having. Instead of jumping down their throats because they are doing something incorrectly, take a second, take a step back and talk to the employee; don't talk down to the employee. You might learn something yourself. They will tell you why they're doing it that way. Maybe they thought they were doing it right, maybe it's because they're being pushed for production. You might just discover a root cause that you weren't even looking for.

The reason I can build a great connection with any employee is because I genuinely care. Workers can tell whether you care or whether you're just trying to check the block.

Connect with your employees on a deeper level besides the scope of work.  It will take you far.  Never stop learning; never stop becoming a better you. Take a communication course that will help you engage anyone in any scenario. Safety is not a job. It's a calling and a lifestyle.

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Rise in millennials getting pre-nups 'due to all their start-ups'

The number of millennials securing pre-nuptial agreements before they tie the knot to protect money they have not yet made has spiked, according to new research.

Over half of lawyers who deal with marriages reported a rise in clients aged between 18 and 35 asking for pre-nups in the past three years, a survey of 1,600 members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers showed.

Pre-nups are legal documents which outline what a spouse will be owed if the marriage ends.

However, while pre-nups in the past largely focused on inheritance and alimony, millennials are also considering intellectual property such as app software, songs, and films.

As older millennials start to marry and cultivate wealth, they are seeking to protect the money that they might make from creative projects that are in their infancy when they marry.

"Members of the millennial generation are particularly choosing prenups as the best option to cover separate property holdings, business interests, anticipated family inheritances and potential alimony claims," commented Joslin Davis, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Lawyer Barry Slotnick told Bloomberg that he believes the demographic is hyper-aware of high divorce rates and its members are worried about their fiscal futures.

"Without an agreement dictating otherwise, the separate property nature of the business would be valued at the date of the marriage when it was low but the growth during the marriage would be all marital, which may not be fair to the person who created the idea prior to getting hitched," Jacqueline Newman, NYC Divorce Lawyer and Author of Soon-To-Be-Ex, Your Guide to a Perfect Divorce and Relaunch, told Bustle.

The survey follows a study which suggests that millennials are less likely to have had sex than any other generation since the 1920s.

Despite the rise of smartphone apps such as Tinder and Bumble which have revolutionised dating, this age group is spending more time online according to research by San Diego State University.

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New BBC2 Vogue Documentary Is Absolutely Fabulous

What do the women at Vogue wear? That’s all anyone really wants to know – or, at least, that’s why you’ll be watching, hawk-eyed, throughout a new BBC series about the magazine, Absolutely Fashion: Inside British Vogue. It’s been shot by seasoned director Richard Macer, who observes the magazine’s daily life over nine months with a keen eye and a dry sense of humour, hence the title. It will show what Vogue wears, and what Vogue eats.

Naturally, the office landscape features many clothes and little in the way of food. Rails of Victoria Beckham and padded jackets and Gucci sit alongside all the takeaway coffees (so many!) which appear at desks (white Formica, cluttered with binders, pens and Macs) or on the frow at the fashion shows. Much of the action takes place outside of the office because the fashion industry is a proactive one and as for the coffee, well you need to do something with your hands when a show is delayed by traffic – a phenomenon well documented by Macer – and what with the smoking ban and all ...

Regrettably, there is no sign of Vogue’s fabled “snack table”. Possibly because it’s empty, or doesn’t actually exist. An early cameo from a nectarine (or peach, we’re down to the stone by the time filming starts) blindsides us. Fiona Golfar, editor-at-large, friend to the stars, and the woman who procures the big names, nibbles it very slowly, with the caution of an animal emerging from hibernation. Then we’re back to the coffee.

For the most part, the Vogue style is unfettered. Of course it is – they’re being filmed – and the glamour moves in hierarchical fashion. The editor-in-chief, Alexandra Shulman, moves between brights and darks, a multicoloured striped Gucci jumper (Alexa Chung owns the same) one day, oatmeal cashmere and Gola trainers another. Fashion director Lucinda Chambers is flightier with her style: a lot of Marni, Jil Sander and massive earrings. If you’ve seen the notorious/acclaimed film about US Vogue, The September Issue, where the fashion director, Grace Coddington, stole the show from US editor Anna Wintour, it’s hard not to escape the feeling that Chambers has been cast in the Coddington role here.

Meanwhile, Sarah Harris, fashion features director and rising star of Vogue who let her hair go grey, is more open, giving us a tour of her wardrobe in the second episode. Millions of pairs of jeans. Céline and Manolo Blahnik shoes. Ditto Julia Hobbs, fashion news editor. Her most expensive item? She leans in: “My Prada. Red. Shearling. Coat.” It cost as much as a secondhand Mini. Jaime Perlman, the creative director and breakout star, is far more cool. She talks back to Shulman, wears an exaggerated eyeliner flick, and dresses for herself rather than the cameras. Note the Chloé tracksuit top in the second episode: one of the most discussed pieces of last season. Otherwise the looks are familiar ones: Bardot tops, Breton tops, printed blouses, smart shirts (mainly worn by Shulman’s “gatekeeper” PAs). Take note: there are few Stan Smiths, a staple of other fashion offices.

Shulman dresses like a woman in charge without the bizarre mythology of her US counterpart. Wintour herself appears briefly, and is filmed putting her sunglasses on before being interviewed. Inside. As Macer notes, “appearances can be deceiving” at Vogue. And while it is possible that the Devil might wear Prada, she only does if she can get from A to B in it.

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Life's A Beach: How To Make A Kaftan Look Cool In The City

There are few greater pleasures in life than London during the summer.

Yes, there are more tourists and ice cream-fuelled schoolchildren around than usual but there’s also the opportunity to drink bucketloads of Aperol on rooftops, turn your nearest patch of grass into your second home and wear the sort of clothes usually filed away under “holiday”. To be more specific on the latter, this means wearing a kaftan at all times - regardless of whether you’re bound for the beach or not.

No longer just a scrap of fabric to throw over your bikini, the kaftan has undergone a revival this summer with style-conscious city dwellers embracing the holiday hero as a means to make swanning around London feel that little bit more like sun-soaked Santorini.

Among the kaftan’s biggest ambassadors is former British Vogue editor and stylist Pippa Holt, who launched her line of ultra-luxe and colourful kaftans this year. “I’ve always loved ‘holiday dressing’,” says Holt. “I felt there was room in the market for more options and I’ve always loved the versatility, ease and sense of freedom a kaftan offers in the sun.”

For Holt, the idea to launch her own line was hatched when she was sweltering in the city, not based on a beach. “I fell in love with the work of some weavers I met in Mexico when I was living in Texas,” she says. “I wore their textiles when I lived in Houston as it was so hot I found that was the only way I could combat the intense heat in the city. People would stop me in the street and ask where my outfit was from.”

So far Holt’s designs are proving a bigger hit on Instagram than a giant pink flamingo pool float. Of course, with a comfort factor equivalent to a steaming bowl of spaghetti alla Norma and each one setting you back between £550 and £800 (the price of week in the Costa Del Sol), it’s little wonder that fashion fans are throwing theirs on every chance they get.

Other kaftan connoisseurs include Greek-born, London-based designer Athena Procopiou, whose pleasingly bohemian kaftans are just as at home in Kefalonia as they are in Primrose Hill, and fashion-editor favourite  Vita Kin, who employs traditional vyshyvanka embroidery techniques from her native Ukraine for her billowing folk dresses.

Sleepwear specialists also make for remarkably good kaftan-makers. The current options from New York PJ label Sleepy Jones, which include striped linen and geometric-print silk, are far too good to keep under the sheets, while luxury lounge and swimwear label Asceno champions a breezy silhouette and a pared back colour palette.

For those who wish to channel the kaftan vibe in the office, Hobbs’s elegant cream maxi manages to strike just the right balance between beachy and boardroom-appropriate, while other high-street hits include Mango’s short embroidered style in pristine white cotton and a flowing belted robe by River Island.

As for the trend’s longevity, Holt believes that the kaftan will endure long after we’ve waved goodbye to the sun. “They are incredibly versatile,” she says. “I wear mine in winter with a crisp white shirt or a roll neck underneath.”

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People Who Believe Exercise Is Good For Them Experience More Health Benefits, Study Finds

People who believe exercise is good for them may derive more mental and physical benefits from working out than those with lower expectations.

Researchers in Germany found people convinced of the health benefits of cycling enjoyed the exercise more and were more relaxed than cynics.

For the study, psychologists at the University of Freiburg asked 76 people aged between 18 and 32 to exercise for 30 minutes on a stationary bicycle.

They had been asked beforehand how much they thought they would benefit, and afterwards they filled out questionnaires about their well-being and mood before and after the exercise. The researchers also measured the participants’ brain activity with an electro-encephalogram (EEG).

Test subjects who started off convinced the cycling would have a positive effect on their health enjoyed the exercise more, and found it improved their mood and reduced their anxiety more than less optimistic test subjects.

The EEG also showed that participants who had higher expectations before the study began appeared to be more relaxed.

For the pessimists, however, all is not lost: the study showed that it's not all down to the person's predisposition.

Some test subjects were shown a short film ahead of the study that praised the positive effects of cycling. These participants experienced similar benefits to those who already inuitively believed in the health benefits of exercise.

Test subjects who started off convinced the cycling would have a positive effect on their health enjoyed the exercise more, and found it improved their mood and reduced their anxiety more than less optimistic test subjects.

The EEG also showed that participants who had higher expectations before the study began appeared to be more relaxed.

For the pessimists, however, all is not lost: the study showed that it's not all down to the person's predisposition.

Some test subjects were shown a short film ahead of the study that praised the positive effects of cycling. These participants experienced similar benefits to those who already inuitively believed in the health benefits of exercise.

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Science Says Couples Are Deluded About How Likely They Are To Cheat On Each Other

Humans are notorious for thinking they're better than everyone else.

When asked to rate themselves on attractiveness, intelligence, driving ability — you name it — they consistently say they're above average, which obviously isn't mathematically possible.

So it makes sense that people also believe their relationships are healthier than other folks'.

Specifically, people think their own romantic partner has a much lower chance of cheating than the average member of the opposite sex.

That's according to recent research, cited on Science of Relationships, from the University of Calgary and McMaster Children's Hospital. For the study, researchers recruited about 200 university students who'd been involved in heterosexual dating relationships for at least three months.

Those participants filled out an online questionnaire related to their beliefs and expectations about infidelity. (The researchers note that they didn't explicitly define the term “infidelity,” so participants were left to use their own interpretations.)

Participants reported that they believe there's about a 42% chance that the average person of the opposite sex either has cheated on their partner or will do so at some point.

But when it came to their own partners, participants estimated that there was about a 5% chance that their partner had already cheated on them and about an 8% chance that they would cheat on them in the future.

So how many participants said they'd actually gone and done it — cheated on their partner? 9%.

Interestingly, even though these couples were dating, and not married, they were just as confident (some might say delusional) in the stability of their relationships as married couples surveyed in other studies.

These findings jibe with other research that found, even after years of dating, couples don't know each other nearly as well as they think they do. So you might think everything is peachy keen in the relationship, when in fact your partner's feeling lonely or frustrated.

Perhaps the most important insight to come out of this research is that even though nearly every person surveyed said it was important that their partner doesn't cheat on them, fewer people said they'd talked about infidelity with their partners.

Less than two-thirds had talked about what constitutes cheating, but even fewer said they'd reached an agreement with their partners about it.

Maybe we hedge the subject because it doesn't occur to us that our partner could possibly stray; or maybe it's because we're afraid of what we'll find out when we broach the topic. Either way, it helps to remember that your partner, like everyone else's partner, is human, and there's a chance — albeit a small one — that they'll be unfaithful at some point.

As the write-up of this study on Science of Relationships concludes: “[T]he findings do highlight the degree to which people are motivated to really want to believe their relationships and partner is better than others. And that wishful thinking may blind individuals to real warning signs.”

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One Day In Paris: More Important Than Ever, For The Lowest Fare Ever

The final weekend of July should be the happiest of times for the traveller. Millions of people are already on holiday, and millions more are on the eve of an adventure, great or small.

Yet this summer, anticipation is giving way to trepidation. The most popular nation on earth for tourism is France, and its President has declared that his nation is at war. I wish, in this month of all months, politicians such as François Hollande would be careful about the language of conflict.

A century ago, a generation of young men was being slaughtered on an industrial scale in northern France. During the Battle of the Somme, which began on 1 July 1916, British soldiers were dying at a rate of nearly 3,000 per day. For both the French and the German armies, the death toll was around 1,700 per day.

In the past two weeks, since Bastille Day, dozens of families across Europe have been enduring a living nightmare while they grieve for their murdered loved ones. Eighty-four people died in Nice when a truck mowed through a crowd; nine were shot by an 18-year-old in Munich, one of three attacks in a week in Bavaria; and at a church in Normandy the throat of an 85-year-old priest was cut.

Every one of these needless deaths is a profound tragedy. Yet the victims are not casualties of war. Indeed, to ascribe military status to attacks by pathetic, deluded individuals is a big mistake. The perpetrators are thugs who profess allegiance to a vile organisation in an attempt to justify their murderous acts.

But we are not at war. Compared with the darker days of the 20th century, from the Somme to the brutal civil war that tore apart Yugoslavia, Europe is basking in the warm glow of peace. Rather than cowering at home and inadvertently chalking up a victory for hate, we should celebrate the freedom to travel. Thankfully, at the same time as President Hollande was being warlike, Eurostar was doing something much more positive: unveiling an unprecedented offer for day trips to Paris and Brussels.

The train operator, which runs from London to the French and Belgian capitals, was expecting business on peak-hour services to dip in August, when the normal hostilities of commercial and political life are suspended. After the tragic events in both Belgium and France, and the post-referendum plunge in the pound, I imagine forward bookings to London and Paris looked even worse than anticipated. So Eurostar has come up with a £58 day return for midweek travel in August.

The £58 tickets are only available from St Pancras, departing on Tuesdays, Wednesdays or Thursdays, and you can only book from Monday of the week you want to travel. The trains you must use are also restricted. You must travel to Paris at 7.01am or 7.55am, and return on the 8.13pm or 9.13pm. To Brussels, the only trains are 6.50am outbound, 6.56pm return. So you can get nearly 10 hours in Paris, and close to seven in Brussels.

In return for jumping these hurdles, you get a hitherto unknown opportunity. You can check the weather forecast for either city the day before, and – if it appeals – book a bargain. I have just made a test booking to Paris for Tuesday and a day trip on the specified days costs £214 – much better, then, to hold off booking until Monday.

You need not have the forensic skills of Inspector Clouseau to work out that this deal offers another opportunity: a longer stay in either city for £116 return, much less than you would usually pay for a short-notice booking.

Just buy a day return for Tuesday and Thursday, and use only the outward half of the first and the return portion of the second (I’ve checked with Eurostar – the company doesn’t mind). Then you can help a hotel in either city offload its distressed inventory. The lovely Hotel Crayon in Paris will sell you a double for €93 a night, while the equally colourful Hotel Pantone in Brussels is a steal at just €58.

Actually, there is a war going on. But it’s only a price war, and the victor is the traveller. Bon voyage.

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